I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
