I skipped work to stalk him.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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