The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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