you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
