my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
how does that bad decision feel?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
