that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
