i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Someone signed my nipple.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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