apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
