We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
smell my finger.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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