just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
