He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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