New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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