just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
