he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
