wrigley field is MILF paradise
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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