I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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