Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
