that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
