her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
