im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
