She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
