You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
