3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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