my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
BRING THE BAGELS
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
