Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
