I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
