Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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