you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
