but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
