so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize