I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
