I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
