and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
