One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
