Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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