I have demons in me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
