i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
