Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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