Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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