She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
