He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
