FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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