I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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