Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
