On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
