dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
