they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
