weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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