Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
