are you still at the devil's house?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
