If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
